Detachment is simply watching the events that are unfolding around you, getting involved only when your journey is part of the experience. Not reacting to the people or the situations that so easily attract our attention is not an easy skill to develop. And skill it is. We must practice driving and chipping and putting a ball to be a good golfer. We have to hit thousands of tennis balls against a backdrop to play tennis competitively. And we have to sit for long, long hours at a keyboard to become proficient at piano. We would not expect to be very goo[...]
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Circle of Family and Friends – You and Your Personal Community
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Circle of Family and Friends - You and Your Personal Community, Reflections in the Mirror - You and Yourself
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Letting others be . . . to grow as they will . . . or not, is a true gift
Detachment is knowing that happiness is the guaranteed byproduct of how we live our lives, not how others are living theirs. It's my intention to do a few posts on detachment over the next few weeks. I have learned that being being sucked into the struggles of others leaves no time for me to fully experience the day that stands before me. Allowing others to be glad or sad, successful or unsuccessful, angry or dour, sober or drunk; and knowing how ever they are need not be central to our journey, is real freedom. But coming to understand how to live "peac[...]
Detachment is knowing that the mind can change if what you say to the mind, changes. We simply are not able to hold more than one thought in our minds at a time. And what ever thought we harbor has been cultivated by none other than ourselves. That’s both the good and the bad news of our lives. No one has power over how we think. Of course, that also means we can blame no one else for what we think! If we put good thoughts in our minds, we will express good thoughts to others. The converse is just as powerfully true. Being consumed with the acti[...]
Detachment is not being a victim any more. Some say there are no victims, only volunteers. When I first heard that phrase, I was mystified. How could a person who suffered at the hands of another be considered a volunteer? But volunteers, we are. Lest you misunderstand, I don’t want to suggest that there are no culprits in this world. However, how we perceive those people who mistreat us is our choice. We can see those who are mean-spirited, or worse, as fearful, angry people who are looking for acceptance, even love, in the only way they know how.[...]
I know I have been here before. I get here every few months, in fact. The blues settle in for a spell and then I remember all that I have to be grateful for. It's not that I ever really forget but I get lazy and complacent and seem to want something more. I can't put a name to what "that more is" however. Fortunately I know the solution. And it's to be present to all the other God-chosen people who are on my path. I've selected them, along with God as my guide. And they have selected me too, for what we can teach one another. Our journey has been[...]
Circle of Family and Friends - You and Your Personal Community, What I Believe - You and Your Higher Power
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Change is inevitable. . .
This is an apt topic for me to blog about today because I am resisting a change that's beyond my control. Our minister has decided to leave our church at the end of the year. That's only six weeks from now! I know that many of us are feeling the loss already. He has brought us so far in four years and he is loved, not only because of his solid spiritual message, but because he is alive with enthusiasm. The church has experienced many changes in the 22 years I have attended it but this one took me by surprise, total surprise. Many friends, who also atte[...]
My theme in all the work I do at this juncture of my life is about creating more peaceful relationships. Whether it's a book or a workshop, my focus is on helping others, and myself too, live with less strife. I sincerely believe we add to the peace of the world we inhabit every minute we choose to treat one of our contemporaries with respect and kindness. Just speaking gently is a good beginning, in fact. Sound too simple to really be the solution, you think? Think again. It's the pathway to a kinder, more gentle world, one that begins in the heart fo[...]
Circle of Family and Friends - You and Your Personal Community, Reflections in the Mirror - You and Yourself
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Inner peace is a by-product of right thinking coupled with right actions. . .
I wish I could say to you that I have constant inner peace. But that would be a lie. I can say, however, that I am more at peace today than at any other time in my life. And it's the direct result of changing my thinking. I wrote a book a few years back titled: Change Your Mind and Your Life Will Follow. Some of you reading this might have read it. You can check it out on amazon or my website if interested. But the premise of the book is the idea that if we truly want our lives to change, we have to change how we show up in our lives. In other wor[...]
I had an opportunity to meet some one I took an instant dislike to at a friend’s home recently. Every thing about the man got under my skin. He was loud; he didn’t listen to others when they spoke; he seemed particularly dismissive of women; he was very judgmental, from my perception, and it seemed we had nothing in common. And then I heard him mention he was in recovery. What a difference that piece of information made to me. Why was I so quick to dismiss him at first and then just as quickly forgive him his “apparent” flaws, when I found out we[...]
Everyone we meet is on a holy journey, just like the one we are traveling. Embracing this idea changes every encounter we experience, if we let it! I know. It has happened in my life. This is a huge idea, and one that, if you believe it, can change every other idea you hold. A number of years ago, I made the decision to believe it. There wasn’t one writer, in particular, who influenced me, or one philosopher or book or workshop or friend or spiritual teaching. When I try to reconstruct how the change in my thinking occurred, I’d say it happened gradual[...]