I am very grateful that I eventually learned I didn’t have to respond to every thing that was said. Or even any thing that was said. The decision to say nothing, regardless of the inclination to be engaged, was a mere thought away. I only wish I had learned it sooner. Fortunately I did learn it before my father died. The last few years of his life were far more peaceful for both of us. His ways didn’t change very much and that didn’t matter. Mine did and it only takes one to “quit the dance” for it to end. Not having to respond to the be[...]
2 I'd have to say that the first forty years of my life were primarily focused on the actions of those people I walked among. And I wasn't even conscious of it. It was simply who I was. It was how I had always lived. What ever you said defined how I believed too, in that moment. I saw no problem with this. Not having "a life of my own" wasn't of much concern. I came to the realization of this in 1971 but seeing "Me" in print on that fateful page in John Powell's book didn't turn me around. Let me elaborate. I was teaching a personal writing class at[...]
We make our lives far more complicated than they need to be. Do we think moving through the many phases of our life requires complexity if we want to "show others" how important we are? That has the ring of truth to it, I think. But the "actual truth," as I have come to understand it, is the opposite of that. Very definitely the opposite of that. Perhaps aging has changed my perspective. Maybe it's living according to the principles of the twelve steps that has prompted my reversal of thinking. But the older I am the less I want to be "ruffled"[...]
At an AA meeting this morning the topic of balance was suggested. I have always felt that my life was pretty well balanced. I exercise. I eat well. I have many friends, a great relationship with my husband, and my work life is very satisfying. However, I am also exploring the idea of working less. How would that feel? Must I always be busy? In past years I'd say yes. I needed to be answering the "call" to write and saying yes to all of the invitations I received to facilitate workshops or speak at luncheons or dinners. The idea of cutting back[...]
(In case you have not read the preceding post, I am projecting out twenty years and looking back on what my life was like.) Dear Karen, Your decision to assign participants in a workshop in 2013 to look back on their lives from a future point was fortuitous. As you might recall, you were contemplating your own "next phase," wondering if slowing down was really what you wanted to do. You weren't sure how many or how few workshops to commit to for 2014, let alone the next two decades. Even stopping to ask yourself that question was good. You had never[...]
I've made reference to this idea in other blogs, certainly in talks I have given over the years, and in simple, very ordinary conversations with friends. It's an idea that isn't original with me. I'm not even sure it was original with Earnie Larson, but he's the man I heard say it ever so many decades ago. At the time he said it, I had no idea how relevant the idea was becoming to my life as I slowly changed; changes that were the result of working a twelve step program, a program that changed absolutely every thing in my life; and continues to influence[...]
WE NEVER NEED TO FEEL HOPELESS. ONE’S HIGHER POWER IS ALWAYS PRESENT. There are innumerable personal situations that can cause creeping hopelessness. You have been diagnosed with a terminal illness with only months to live or a parent dies unexpectedly. Maybe your troubled teenager is on the run again and you feel you have no where to turn. The job you have loved for years suddenly gets cut with no forewarning. Or the boss who always understood your personal struggles and insecurities and willingly worked with you, gets transferred. Or the situation that eve[...]
Karen Casey Writing Workshop The Past is Never Really Past: Following the Thread of our Life September 13-15, 2013 Friday 7-9 • Saturday 8:45-4 • Sunday 8:45-12 at the FRESH Renewal Center in Augusta, MO Our present is the accumulation of past experiences, but quite often seen with greater clarity and a willingness to share what we have learned with others. During this weekend workshop we will invite “our memory” to look with fresh eyes at experiences and people who made their mark on our lives. Bring your special it[...]
Getting Unstuck is the title of one of my newest books. It's a book that called to me. Actually, I'd have to say that every book I have written, all 27 of them, called to me; but this one felt like the icing on the cake of how to live more peacefully in our relationships. That's my primary goal in life now. I want to treat others always in a kind, gentle way because that's how I want to be treated too. We do need to show up in the lives of others in a way that would please God. That's an easy recipe for peaceful living. My primary goals in Getting Uns[...]
I turned 74 last week. Yikes!! I have been sober exactly half my age. And I can't begin to account for all that has happened on my journey of 74 years. I can assure you much of it wasn't according to my plan! And how lucky I am that my plan was thwarted by God more than 37 years ago. I'd not be alive to write this blog if I had had my way. As a matter of fact, God tried to get my attention hundreds of times. I was just not willing to listen. And then the miracle began. It happened for me like for so many others. The presence of someone else on[...]