Many of my friends dread this time of year. Holidays were painful in many families, for sure. I've talked about this topic in the past, both the bright side of the holidays as well as the painful side, I know; but I feel called in my work to talk about changing one's attitude and I think this particular holiday is one that can serve as an opportunity for thousands, even millions of people to look with fresh eyes and an open heart at the meaning beneath the glitz of the season. I'm convinced that the holidays, which ever one you celebrate, are a way to conne[...]
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Circle of Family and Friends - You and Your Personal Community, Karen's Musings, What I Believe - You and Your Higher Power
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Thanksgiving is just around the corner. . .
I am so glad we are approaching the holiday season. I know not everyone is. Many of my friends dread it because it brings up bad memories. I have a lot of lousy memories from my past too but none of them cling to the revelry my family enjoyed around the holidays. Perhaps we put aside our differences, our myriad reasons for arguing about every topic that normally triggered us, and just absorbed, for a few weeks, the magic that the holiday season promised. We didn't have a lot of extra money as a family but we did have rituals that I treasured and they bega[...]
Within the past few weeks, three friends have died. The first one was the elderly mother of my best friend. I had known her for many years, of course. And while it was true that she had many health challenges, and deserved to be quietly at peace; it was still with great sadness that I said my good byes. I would have to say that I felt even greater sadness for her family. Even though, they, like all of us, knew Audrey deserved to be free of her frail, restricted body, her tenderness and gentle spirit had remained very much alive until the very end. Many[...]
My husband and I just returned to our winter residence in Florida. Each time we have made this trek south, I have done so with mixed feelings. I love MN. I feel very attached to both family and friends there. I got sober there. Met my husband there. My sponsor is there. But now I am here. For 21 years we have moved between the two locations. It's not that the move is fraught with problems. Not at all. It's just that until I get reconnected on this end, I am like a fish out of water. Slightly depressed. A bit lost. Not entirely comfortable[...]
I just returned from a four day visit with my siblings. My two older sisters and I joined my brother and his wife in Phoenix. It was perfect in every way. There was a time in my life when I would not have relished a visit such as this, primarily because there were areas of disagreement between us. My own ego used to look for reasons to be combative or judgmental or both. I was certain that my opinions about every thing were the right ones. If you disagreed, I was quick to point out how wrong you were. My family caught the brunt of my poor attitu[...]
My husband and I received very sad news over the week end about the passing of another good friend. Tom was in long-term recovery. In fact, he had just celebrated 32 years of sobriety. I last saw him a few weeks ago at our party for Joe's 70th birthday. Joe had seen him just 2 days before he apparently died. No one really knows the details because Tom lived alone. He had not shown up at an AA meeting he regularly attended and a friend called to see if he was okay. Getting no answer, the friend did what we often do. He drove over to Tom's house. With[...]
Circle of Family and Friends - You and Your Personal Community, Reflections in the Mirror - You and Yourself
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Finding joy in the ordinary. . .
This is not the first post about joy that I have recently written. It's on my mind because of the seminars I do, the books I write and my own daily commitment to living joyfully. Obviously I believe it's attainable; and yet I know many who seldom express joy or even seek it. I used to fall into that category and now I wonder why it took me so long to wake up. The minister at the church I attend spoke about joy today and posed these questions: "What's keeping you from feeling joy much of the time?" And "What is it that you do that does bring you joy?" Th[...]
I spent a few days this past week enjoying a silent retreat at the Benedictine Center in Maplegrove, MN . In fact, the retreat was more than enjoyable. It was a blissful experience. I had gone to many retreats in my lifetime and have led even more retreats than I have attended. But I have never been silent for three days. I unplugged my phone; left my computer at home; had no television, radio or newspapers at my disposal. The quiet claimed my attention. Nothing more. Many asked me what was I looking for, including the spiritual director I met with[...]
I am facilitating a workshop in St. Paul, MN with a friend and colleague, Bill Alexander, on October 22nd, just a few weeks from now. Our topic is joy so I have thought about it a lot lately. The full title of the workshop is Cultivating Joy in our Relationships. I have written extensively over the last few years about relationships, and I believe they are the vehicles for healing ourselves in this life. And the expression of joy, (one pathway to healing I think,) in our many relationships, the extremely significant ones and those that are more casual, tak[...]
I have quoted Mother Teresa on many occasions, here and elsewhere. She expressed so many wonderful hints for peaceful living. Using her words as guideposts for a life well lived would make sense, on the very personal level and certainly on the global level in these troubled times. And currently, I am relying on this suggestion because I have been "missing the joy" that is so commonly mine. What has interfered is the struggle I am having with chronic pain. My condition isn't life-threatening, so I tend to pass it off as unimportant. And when I look at[...]