I was at an Al-Anon meeting at noon today and even though the subject being discussed wasn't specifically "attachment," it did come up. Letting the behavior of others, their moods, their actions, their opinions and comments control how we feel in the moment is common to us "codependents." I still remember the first time I heard the term "codependent" and at the time I was in so much denial about my own codependency, that I didn't recognize how clearly the syndrome described me. I didn't want to be that person so I insisted I wasn't. However, since childho[...]
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Circle of Family and Friends - You and Your Personal Community, Reflections in the Mirror - You and Yourself
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Leading from the heart heals all living things. . .
I was at a great 12 step meeting last night where the topic was "opening our hearts" to the travelers on our path, whoever they might be. I am personally convinced that we could heal the wounds of the world if every one of us offered a "heart-felt" expression even once a day. It wouldn't be that difficult. We could begin with the first person we see upon arising. For many of us that would be a family member and how often do we walk right by them on our way to pouring that first cup of coffee without even acknowledging them with a kind "good morning." We[...]
Circle of Family and Friends - You and Your Personal Community, Reflections in the Mirror - You and Yourself
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The gifts of recovery are far-reaching. . .
Every time I go to a meeting or receive a phone call from a friend or sit down at my computer to read comments on the posts I have written or open emails from readers who have been helped by one or another of my books, I sit back, stunned, by the impact of the changes that have occurred in my life simply because I got clean and sober. I never, in my wildest dreams, expected to live the life I have been given. And I no longer doubt that God orchestrated it all. There is simply no other reasonable explanation. I was thinking about this when my sisters and I w[...]
Circle of Family and Friends - You and Your Personal Community, What I Believe - You and Your Higher Power
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Being a witness to someone’s life is a wonderful gift. . .
I am currently reading a great book: Someone Knows My Name, by Canadian author, Lawrence Hill. It's a book about the transportation of Africans into America in the mid 1700's and later. The story is told through the eyes of one young female who was torn from her home and her family at the age of eleven, forced to travel by foot hundreds of miles to the slave boats and then brought here and sold. Her account of the trip, both the deaths and survival stories and her memories of those people left behind is told in meticulous detail. What has moved me the mos[...]
I have spent the last 3 hours reading comments from you, the readers, and commenting back in many instances. How thrilling it is for me to be writing and then hearing from you in such a quick turn-around. After nearly thirty years of writing books, this is an interesting departure. I must say, however, that I have heard from thousands of book readers too over the years, both by snail mail and more recently by email. Knowing I am "being heard" is gratifying indeed. It's the hook that will keep me coming back for many years to come. The comments are ins[...]
We can begin to cultivate hope in ourselves and others by acknowledging the many people who are on our path by intention. By acknowledge, I mean to really look into the eyes of the many who surround you. No one is “there” accidentally. No one! When we embrace that awareness, the fear we so easily let fester in unfamiliar circumstances, diminishes. There is no way to initiate hope when fear lingers at the edge of our mind. The simple recognition that wherever we are is where we have been called to be can change our mood and expectations and suspend ou[...]
I have been traveling much of the last two weeks. I was in Austin, Texas, speaking at the annual Austin Recovery Organization fund raiser and then last week I spent 5 days in Phoenix speaking at an event, doing a show on television and then a book signing. All experiences were very rewarding. I love the interactions with every one. They inspire me. Being able to look people in the eyes, shake their hands, or give them a hug, makes the work I do a blessing every single day. However, the down side is that the travel part wears me out a bit. I got hom[...]
The last few days I have felt a bit at loose ends. My guess is that you know what I mean when I say that. I am burning the candle at both ends, by choice, actually. I am starting the planning process on a new book, preparing to leave tomorrow for Mesa, AZ to do a program for empowering women, trying to stay tuned into this blog and allow time for all of life's other necessities: like talking to sponsees, going to meetings, working out, having quality time with my husband and getting enough rest. I am juggling a lot of balls and not completely successfully. B[...]
It's with a sense of loss that I write this post today. Joy, whom I spoke of in an earlier post, ( a very dear friend of 30 years) died at 3:30AM on February 14th, a mere 12 hours after I had left her bedside. I'm so glad I was able to share with her my love and blessings for a smooth journey. I'm confident she had one. My journey with Joy goes back to the moment she walked into a 12 step meeting I regularly attended. There was an immediate connection. I somehow knew we would be best of friends for many years and we were. Her name fit her so well. [...]
Very good friends of ours were here for the night. My husband has known both of them for more than 40 years. And I have known them for nearly 35 years. They are a delight in every way. We share the same journey in 12 step rooms, and walk the same path with A Course in Miracles too. Having friends who share your values, and have known you for so many years lends a special quality to the friendship. There are no secrets. Acceptance of who we really are is a given. Having history with people is one of the blessings of being in recovery. Most of the w[...]