When I first heard the suggestion to detach from another person, I interpreted it to mean to sever all ties, all communication. Considering it was a relationship partner I was supposed to detach from, I found the suggestion out of the question. What I had failed to understand at that time and frankly, for many months to come, was that detachment didn't mean to literally turn my back on some one. But rather to shield my emotions from the behavior of others. To let others do whatever they did without my own emotions jumping on their roller-coaster. It wasn[...]
Tag
Co-dependency
9 Detachment is taking responsibility for our own life. Not blaming others for anything that has happened to us in this life is the mark of spiritual maturity. It’s also a goal that most of us have to spend years striving to attain. It’s not unusual to want to make others responsible for our failures or for our insufficiencies. Being told that the circumstances of our birth, the unloving parent or spouse, or the inability to master the educational system can’t be blamed aren’t easy pills for us to swallow. But until we say to ourselves and others, “I am[...]
I am so often struck by the timeliness of the messages "I receive" at meetings. My sponsor has said many times that when I am ready, I will hear the message, or the explicit direction from God, that I have been prepared for. I used to doubt her, but not any more. I do hear exactly what I need to hear but I have to show up in the places I have been called to be, to hear the message. Isolating myself from others hasn't appealed to me for years but it used to. I wanted you to express your desire for my company. And I felt sorry for myself if you didn't.[...]
I am a proponent of simple principles as my guideposts for living. One that greatly resonates with me is live and let live. The wish to control other people can be so strong and seductive. I have fought the urge to try to control others much of my life. I think insecurity and fear is what prompts it. But I know that every one of us is here to live out a very specific journey and I am not the camp director for any one else. Since I have finally gotten the hang of letting go of others, I experience much longer periods of peace in a 24 hour day. Giving u[...]
It's far too easy to get pulled off course, I think. The myriad moods of the many people we encounter on a daily basis, if allowed to control how we feel in the moment, will keep us unsettled and unfulfilled for most of the day. It's no fun to live in this kind of turmoil. But the habit is hard to break. For many, it begins in childhood. Perhaps a very demanding parent prevented you from having an identity that was separate, in some respects, from the family. What dad believed, every one had to believe. Or you had a teacher or a boss that belittled you fo[...]
Are you currently trying to make any kind of change in your life? Perhaps you are trying to commit to an exercise program or take time for daily prayer and meditation. Maybe making a life style choice about eating healthier foods is at the top of your list of desired changes. I have made a lot of changes over the years. I quit drinking nearly 34 years ago. I followed that with giving up cigarettes just a few months later. Making a daily practice of prayer and meditation was harder. I could get the prayer part down. I learned from reading The Magica[...]
Detachment is stepping back from an experience in order to allow room for God to do his part. I seldom remember, without some prodding that I initially resist, that God is a factor in every person’s experience. My ego’s first inclination is to think I am a necessary fac- tor. And not just an ordinary one but the deciding one. Giving up control and letting God be the key influence in the lives of my loved ones is not easy. It takes trust. Not only trust in God but trust in others and in my own willingness to approach my experi- ences with all of them[...]
