This no doubt seems to be an odd title for a post but it fits for where I am today. I am experiencing extreme headaches, as the result of deteriorating disks in my upper vertebrae, and the headaches are affecting my attitude, my body temperature, my sense of well-being, (my husband,) even my feelings of adequacy. The bigger issue is that I have a lot of work facing me over the next few weeks and I can’t get my mind wrapped around the work that needs to be addressed. That’s why I decided to write about my dilemma here. I figured shedding light on it would get it from the darkness of my mind on to the page where I could look at it more openly, perhaps less negatively too.
I am not a “good” sick person. I am used to always being on the go. I am used to feeling energized as soon as I have downed that first cup of coffee in the morning. I seldom turn down offers to get involved, either personally with friends and sponsees; or professionally. I almost never turn down offers “to work.” My work is really a gift and I’m honored when asked to do a workshop, write a new book, or give a lecture. However, because of the pain I am currently experiencing, a pain that in all honesty has been haunting me for months, the work I have scheduled for the rest of September feels overwhelming.
I am sure that I will see it differently soon enough, but today it caught up with me. And I have moped around all day, feeling sorry for myself and really quite incapacitated. And yet, as I write this, I can feel my spirit lifting. My head still aches but I feel like my work will be manageable. That’s the miracle of shedding our “secrets,” regardless of how big or minor they may be. They can’t imprison us when we dare to let others know about them. This may seem like a small matter to you, and in the larger scheme of things, it surely is. However, each of us needs to honor that which is keeping us stuck. Only then can we allow it to depart.
The bigger miracle is that I have sat at this computer and worked for a few hours regardless of how lousy I feel. I guess I simply can’t be held down, in the final analysis. Be that good or bad. May tomorrow be a better day.
Rebecca
Amen to honoring that which is keeping us stuck! I have also learned sometimes when I share my honest feelings about what is going on with me, I help others so much more than when I try to put on the false face of everything’s FINE! I have no interest in appearing as superwomam anymore. She’s boring, has no depth and has no practical advice for me! We don’t have to wallow in whatever is going on, but I think it behooves us to be authentic. That seems to help others far more than anything else. While I am sorry for you physical pain, I am so glad you shared that it did affect you. Thank you for that! Hope you are feeling better today!
Cindy Mitchell
You have no ideas how your written words have changed my world over the last two years. I have given out many copies of “Change your mind and your life will follow”.
First and foremost, I hope that your pain decreases so that you can easily do the things you enjoy. I have had two shoulder surgeries this year that have “rocked my world” as I knew it. Dealing with pain has given me a new empathy for people that I hear have been in pain a long time. The pain has affected me not only physically, but emotionally and spiritually, as well. God has certainly used you as a tool to help so many people. What a life story you have. Prayers for Karen to feel relief from the pain that hinders but hasn’t defeated. Thanks again for sharing your life to help so many people.
karencasey
Cindy MitchellThank you so much for responding personally to my blog post. Knowing that I have friends “out there” who really are connecting to me feels so good. Blessings on your path today, and every day.
Karen
Carol Waid
Good morning Karen, I hope your headache is better today. My name is Carol Waid, and I am partners with Nathalie Sorrell, in the organization Truth Be Told. You donated books for us to give to women that are released from prison. This morning I was on Facebook and saw that there was a sentence taken out of your book, from one our graduates and it made me wonder more about you, so I went looking and saw your entry. I so appreciate your living out loud and being an inspiration for it. I agree about some days being better than others and I am grateful for the phrase, “this too shall pass.”
I appreciate your dedication to recovery and your gift to the women we have been blessed to know.
Carol Waid
Truth Be Told
karencasey
Carol WaidHi Carol,
That you so much for your vote of affirmation. I believe in speaking my truth to whomever, wherever. Blessings to you.
Karen