There’s really no one explanation why we feel “on top of the world” some days and not others. Today is one of my mediocre days. It started out great. I had breakfast with a friend and her guests who were visiting from Omaha. We had a delightful conversation, very engaging in fact. However, when I got home I resisted doing any thing. I looked over the workshop I am presenting on the sacred moment this week end in PA and then simply sat, looking first at one magazine and then another. I wasn’t engaged in any of them or ironically, the sacred moment either. I wanted “some one or some thing to call to me” and nothing did.
I knew I’d feel better if I had some thing specific to work on but then didn’t really feel inclined to pursue the book I am currently beginning to write. It’s obvious that I don’t rest easy when there is nothing pressing on my plate. I’ve thought about this dilemma many times over the years. I seem to be at my best, emotionally and spiritually, when I am busy. Many times I have experienced ennui when I am “in between books.”
And yet, through a friend, I recently met Iva, a spiritual intuitive, who said I needed to learn how to say “no” to some opportunities. She said she sensed I felt obligation too often. I’m not sure if that’s the case. I do know that I believe we are here in this life as students and teachers and when the opportunity comes “to teach,” I think it has been heaven-sent.
But am I too busy? What might I be doing if I weren’t writing books or doing workshops? This work feeds me, literally as well as figuratively, but I would do it all for free if I had to. I love the encounters we have with those who share the space of each moment. I’m convinced, and have been for many years, that every encounter has been chosen by me and for me, at another time and place. I’m not sure how the spirit world lines up but I do think we meet “the souls” we need to meet for some predetermined lessons.
Having a more balanced life might be what Iva was referring to. Maybe a more focused and more frequent chat with God about this very matter is in order. I know it’s not in me to give up what I do but I might consider slowing down if I felt like that would enhance the richness of my life.
How do you keep your life balanced? I’d love to hear from you.
