It has been suggested to me from many sources lately that perhaps I need to say “no” on occasion when asked to speak or be of service in some other way. It’s not that I resist the idea but at the time of any invitation, whether it’s to speak at a meeting, visit with a sponsee, travel across country to do a workshop, or participate in a social activity; I always want to say yes. It never feels, at the time of the invitation, that no is an option I want to take.
However, I am rethinking this for a number of reasons. One is that I have felt really exhausted after too many week ends on the road. Secondly, I know my own “well” needs refueling with some solitude and time with Joe and my friends. Additionally, and perhaps the main reason, is that I met with a spiritual intuitive very recently and she, knowing nothing about me or my work, intuited that I needed to be more selective regarding my commitments. I am taking her suggestion seriously.
She also said I had a broader message to share than the one I have been sharing. That part of our conversation really got my attention. This woman didn’t know my history or my work. I am trying to embrace the meaning of this. Because I believe that whatever is said to us has been sent by God, I am open to where her words might take me. And as though on cue, I have received two emails of late offering me opportunities to teach classes on relationships and spirituality on line. I am willing to consider both. However I am not willing to commit to any thing without thinking it through very carefully.
Not every invitation is necessarily the right one for me to pursue perhaps. I must still be selective. Too much work is still too much. And I must leave time for the book I am undertaking presently. What a rich life I have. I have so many activities to choose among every waking moment. It’s the choice that’s crucial, however, and I must be wary of taking on too much of any good thing.
Investigation prior to commitment is the way to go. I know. That’s what I am doing. I may be “on line” in the year 2013 and if I am, I’ll let you all know. In the mean time, keep looking for me here, in the bookstores, on amazon or in your area putting on a workshop. Check out my events section on this website to see if I am headed your way any time soon.
For the present, I am getting more comfortable pausing before saying yes. It feels quite good, actually. Are you able to say no when you should?
Jenny B.
Dear Karen,
I think of you often and your words are always so helpful. Saying no can be difficult and you are so generous with your time. Since I have returned to North Carolina I have jumped into my AA and AlANON with wild abandon. The idea being I would not become depressed that I had to leave my Naples family in February. Since my return I have taken on program commitments, sponcees, odd jobs and spend hours on the phone. None with you regretfully. Saying NO is a great idea . I read today ‘never underestimate the power of a simple pause’ . Then I read your blog. Please take care of yourself you are a treasure and I look forward to the broader message, in time. Be well.
karencasey
Jenny B.Thanks so much for “stopping by” to say hi. I love it when friends I have made along the way stop by the blog and say hi. Be well until I see you again. Hugs