Detachment is the key to release from the chaos of others’ lives.

If we fail to detach from a person who is always in turmoil, we’re likely to blame them for our unhappiness.

Allowing the irresponsible behavior or insane turmoil surrounding some one else to become the focus of how we are feeling in the moment is a terrible set-up for a resentment.  And we all know how this feels.  Choosing to blame others for our lack of peace is commonplace.  We are in charge of our feelings.  No one’s behavior has the power to determine them but we succumb, quite often, to this mind-set.  Many of us learned this at the feet of our parents, no doubt.  And we can unlearn it.

The choice to detach is as available to us as is the choice to blame.  We have just practiced blaming more frequently.  We can re-set our “default position,” however, with a simple decision.  It has occurred to me that learning how to detach is one of the reasons we are even in pretty constant contact with others.  It’s a “tool” with so many uses.  It’s not just with our families and friends that detachment comes in handy but with strangers too.

Probably once a day you are faced with a situation with a stranger where his behavior leaves you upset.  And it’s in these instances where detachment comes in very handy.  Nothing any one else does ever has to send us reeling.  Isn’t that an empowering idea?  It means that every day can be as joyful and as unencumbered as we choose to make it.

     Blaming others is a common habit.  We see it played out in our families and between world powers too.  Allowing for our differences is one way to reduce our need to blame.  Acceptance of the value our differences actually bring to “the table” could change the tenor of every single relationship, worldwide.