This last twenty years has been most compelling and surprisingly exciting.

(In case you have not read the preceding post, I am projecting out twenty years and looking back on what my life was like.)

Dear Karen,

Your decision to assign participants in a workshop in 2013 to look back on their lives from a future point was fortuitous.  As you might recall, you were contemplating your own “next phase,” wondering if slowing down was really what you wanted to do.  You weren’t sure how many or how few workshops to commit to for 2014, let alone the next two decades.  Even stopping to ask yourself that question was good.  You had never  asked it before.  While you loved your work and your intense and ever so intimate interactions with people, you also hungered for more down time to just hang out with Joe and friends.  You feared loss though, loss coupled with a sense of ennui, which to you meant not measuring up any more.  Truly believing it was okay to do nothing was not easily swallowed.

How fortunate that you stuck with the process of letting “the future” speak to you.  It did and your activities fell into place, just as they always had.  That next book had been “waiting on you,” for sure.  Essays for the old timer, you  called it and Nina came up with some great ones too.  Even though it was slow getting out of the gate, it felt right.  You loved it.  Just as you have loved every book before and since then.  How lucky that you discovered your passion and let it feed you, both literally and symbolically for all those years.  Making the decision to write at least thirty books was a good one.  And bypassing that by a couple was icing on the cake.  That you played with fiction, though never publishing a full length novel, was a good exercise.  The occasional short story in small magazines fit you better.  And they were good too!

Continuing as a road warrior was simply not to your liking after your 77th birthday.  An occasional luncheon or dinner talk was perfect but not traipsing all over the country to do 3 day workshops.  The traveling took its toll.  Admitting that, though not easy at first, offered great freedom.  The search for a hobby just never garnered your attention like it does for many.  You dabbled.  And you finally said dabbling was a fine hobby in and of itself.  What a glorious 94 years you have had.  Who knows how many more there will be but how lucky for you that Joe is still along for the ride too.  Laughter continues to feed you.  It always will.  May however many years remain be just as fruitful as these last 20.  Praise be to God.  And the hovering angels.