Some days I simply want to say to the world around me: SLOW DOWN, DOGGONE IT. Perhaps my resistance to the passage of time is that I too often have my mind somewhere else, rather than on the moment that’s being given to me. Each moment is a gift. The decision to open each gift slowly, grasping all that it is offering, is available to me. Always. And no one can make the decision for me. No one.
I have slipped away from the security of NOW these last few weeks. I think my consternation about my future, and how I want it to look, has taken me “off-course.” Do I want to keep working as much as I currently work, or do I want to live a bit more retired? Will I feel as though I lack purpose and worth if I step away from the workshop circuit? I’m somewhat ashamed to admit that worthiness remains an issue for me. I’m not troubled by it often, but I do know it nips at my heels on occasion. Even though I have nearly four decades in 12 step rooms.
Are we worthy enough is a question many of us confront, I think. At least many in my circle of contacts and supporters. How much is enough of any thing, after all? Enough money, enough toys, enough friends; enough peace and serenity? Actually, I think only the peace and serenity need to be of concern when we reach the latter stage of living, the stage I am in now. And I know I have earned the right to enjoy nothing but peace and serenity. And the truth is, none of us need to earn it any way. Both are ours for the asking. Quieting one’s mind in the blink of an eye changes the moment, slowing it down, allowing for reflection.
I began the year taking the long view of how I might spend it. A bit of work, a bit of writing and a bit more playing. The playing hasn’t gotten off the mark yet. I’m not sure I know “how to play.” But that’s my intention; that’s my goal for the rest of this year. Define for me what play looks like and then nuzzle into it. A moment at a time. An experience at a time A day at a time.
I intend to begin today. Will you consider joining me on this journey of play?
Nathalie DArcangelo
Karen, Have you considered doing a writer’s/recovery workshop on Hilton Head Island, SC ? Nathalie
karencasey
Nathalie DArcangeloActually, that sounds like a great idea. However, I’d need a sponsoring group in the area to make all the arrangements, market it, etc. If you can organize that part of it with a group of your friends, let me know.
Peace,
Karen
Nathalie DArcangelo
karencaseyHi Karen,
I am going to explore the idea of you coming to either Hilton Head or where I live in Beaufort, an hour from HHI.
In the meantime, I thank you for “My Story to Yours”. It has touched my life. I am an Alanon member for the past 12-15 years, and have read your “Each Day A New Beginning” for perhaps 20-30 years. I only learned recently that you started in Alanon . I laughed, because I always felt guilty, since it was not on our approved literature list.
Your words never fail to touch my heart and soul.
I am going to explore how to go about planning a workshop here . I will stay in touch.
Thank you for your response. Peace, Nathalie