The Wilson House experience . . .

I mentioned a couple weeks back that I was scheduled to go to VT to facilitate a workshop at the Wilson House.  That’s the Bill Wilson House. And for any of you reading this who are in AA, you can only imagine what a thrill this was for me to have been asked to lead a workshop there.  And 90 people attended.  Mostly women but there were 10 or 12 brave men who showed up and they added a lot to our discussions.

One of the primary themes in any workshop I do is that whom ever shows up is there by divine appointment.  I believe that wherever any one of us shows up any moment of our lives is by divine appointment, as a matter of fact.  Choosing to believe this has taken the angst out of experiences.  I know that I am always where I need to be.  And that who I need to meet will show up.  Whether I think I want to meet them or not.  All those who came to the program in VT I was thrilled to meet.  Everyone last one of them.

The topic I chose for the weekend was creating peaceful relationships and then maintaining them.  It’s really not all that hard to do, actually.  More than any thing, it takes willingness followed by commitment.  The tools are actually quite simple.  Listen with an open heart is one of them.  Choosing to be kind, always, is another.  Trusting that whomever has come into your life has been “invited” is another.  And when we honor that one, in particular, it changes how we behave in the multiple encounters we will have.

One of the most important tools/principles of peaceful relationships is to give up the tendency to control others.  We simply can’t succeed at control, at least not for long.  Even our children can’t be controlled.  Until we experience the peace that comes with surrendering our need to control others, it’s not likely that we will make a commitment to it.  I have experienced the peace with letting go enough so that I lean far more easily into that practice now than in past relationships.  Giving my loved ones the respect they deserve to make their own choices allows our relationships to grow into all that they can be.

Learning how to live more peacefully has so many wonderful payoffs, the least of which is less stress in one’s life.  At my age, I want that.  Lots of it.