Reviewing the “old tricks.”

A funk had settled over me.  I wasn’t hopping out of bed with much enthusiasm.  The dread of old had settled in.  Again.  For how long this time, I wondered.  This experience isn’t new.  It’s a common theme for me, actually.  Sometimes it feels like I pay more than an occasional “visit” to this site.  I nestle in, in fact.  And then the fear of how long it will last creeps in.

It wouldn’t be such a big deal but it changes my behavior toward others.  Those I love the most become my central focus and placing them under the microscope doesn’t add peace to my life or theirs.  Finding fault becomes so much more commonplace when I am in this all too familiar funk.  What makes the funk inviting is what has escaped me forever, however.  It simply seems to knock on the door and I invite it in.

What I am thankfully remembering, once again today, is that nothing happens in God’s world by accident.  Nothing.  If the funk has paid a visit it’s because I have some work that needs to be attended to.  And I think I know what that work is.  I have forgotten, once again, to be grateful, in a very specific way, for this very blessed life.  Very blessed life in fact.  I was invited, quite subtly, to be “the voice” for God when I wrote EACH DAY A NEW BEGINNING.  And every book since then has been “my assignment” too.  Each exchange with God belongs on my gratitude list!

I have quit wondering why I was selected to be an author.  It simply happened.  It has been my complete pleasure to comply “with the request.”  But forgetting that God is my constant companion, the one who is in charge of my life, leads to self-doubt and the funk that is its playmate.  My sponsor, nearly forty years ago, said never forget to be grateful, Karen.  She also said keeping a list that’s  current would keep me humble and faith-filled.

I want to share that list with you right now.  Writing it here allows me to return to it often.  I am grateful, first and foremost, for my sobriety.  Without it I’d not be alive.  Literally.  I am grateful for my husband who is my companion in every endeavor I undertake.  He “makes” my life work.  The hole in my heart that he has filled was very deep.  I  am grateful for the loving relationships I have with my family.  They didn’t always love being with me.  I was argumentative and judgmental.  Even after I got sober.  But no longer.  The friends I have in Minnesota and Florida are icing on the cake of my life.

I haven’t even scratched the surface of all that I am grateful for.  I am grateful for the ease with which my husband and I have committed to practicing the principles of A Course in Miracles.  Traveling this spiritual path with him “right sizes me” when I remember to seek to see the miracles that are all around me.  I could go on and on but this is enough for me to ruminate about in this post.  Savoring these few things shifts my mood from one of funk to one of fun.  How great is that?

When was the last time you made a gratitude list?  If it was more than a month ago, the time to do one is now.  Then sit back and watch it shift your mood.