The last three weeks have flown by. That seems to be the case when aging is factored in. And I have become more aware of aging since my recent trip to Annapolis, MD. I suppose some of you saw my Facebook post about my excursion and subsequent fall in that fair city. It wasn’t a pretty experience. I can’t even say it was educational. Picking up my feet more intentionally would not have saved me from that particular fall. I wish I could say otherwise. However, I simply fell forward. With no warning. My nose hitting the pavement was my first awareness that something was amiss.
The good news is that I didn’t break any thing. The bad news is that it happened at all. Perhaps a mini black out was the cause. Haven’t seen a neurologist yet so I don’t know what I/they may discover, but I do know that I didn’t trip. Darn it! That would have been such a relieving explanation.
We do learn things about ourselves when the unexpected happens, however. I learned that I’m not as confident as I once was. I will be more cautious in every way. These last two mornings since settling back in MN I made sure my husband had his cell close at hand when I went out for my walk. That never used to even occur to me. I also went on line to research stationary bikes just before starting this post. I’m thinking I may choose that as my activity rather than walking, except when the sun and warmth call to me. Making a change like this isn’t particularly welcome but it makes sense.
That’s what I’m talking about when I say that aging changes us. For many years I didn’t feel older, regardless of what I was doing. I never stopped to ask myself, “Is this a good idea?” Now I’m far more circumspect. Leaving the house without a cell phone is a no-no. Going any where without letting someone know is a no-no too. Can this be the new me? The woman who eagerly traveled all over the world fearlessly, only a year or two ago? There is something about turning 75, which I did last summer, that gives you reason to pause. I wish that weren’t the case, actually. But better to pause than to take any foolish chance.
This post is not to scare any of you out there who may be contemplating your own aging body. At least we are still active. At least we are still curious. At least we are still interested in making contact with others. And that’s what this blog and my Facebook posts are proof of. Life isn’t over until it’s over. And I know I have lots more interaction ahead of me. I hope you will be on the receiving end of part of it.
Be well. Be careful. Be in constant communication with your Higher Power and all will be well. All will be well.
Marin Shanley
Hi Karen…Your post has triggered a number of thoughts for me and has appeared at a time when I am watching my 74 year old sister rapidly descend into dementia. As you might imagine, this has been seriously disturbing, but after yesterday’s visit, I am beginning to get comfortable with the idea that things happen to us for a reason and, perhaps, the reason for certain changes is so that we (as “victim”) or those who know & love us are given certain important growth opportunities. At least, that is the theory I’ve decided to go with.
How does this relate to what you’ve written here? This is, I think, your opportunity to accept change (new limitations on your physical independence) and to cultivate the enormous mental, emotional and social “farmlands” that you’ve been preparing & fertilizing throughout your entire life. These expanses, clearly, are now calling to you and need your attention. I am reminded of stories of people who lose limbs, become paralyzed or develop chronic diseases that vastly impact their physical mobility and who go on to explore and develop enormously big, creative lives. Your limitations can be attributed to advancing age, but they provide you with no less of an opportunity than if you became restricted by an illness or physical handicap. The focus of your energy & creativity simply shifts to new ground.
I wish you well in your new adventure…embrace it, I say! 😀
karencasey
Marin ShanleyHi Marin,
Thanks so much for your thoughtful response to my post. I couldn’t agree with you more. I know, even though I sometimes resist it, that I have been fully prepared for whatever comes my way, falls and all. I also know that my abilities to write and speak have not been limited, nor will ever be limited by a small physical limitation. By the way, I purchased a new recumbent exercise bike last week. It fits the bill beautifully whenever I decide walking outside isn’t ideal.
I too have an older sister who is showing signs of dementia. My love for her grows exponentially.
May you be at peace, now and always.
Karen